Behind The Veil is an investigative piece I wrote that looked at the topic of Muslim women and their sexuality. This continues to be something I am interested about and if anyone can suggest further readings or insights, contact me.
Whether or not people choose to admit it, we are often guilty of holding misconceptions about cultures that are different from our own. Although this is more understandable in a global context, in a community as diverse as McMaster there is little reason not to educate yourself about the cultural, social, and religious beliefs of the minorities on campus. That said, taking on the topic of Muslim women and sexuality still seemed like a daunting task for our annual Sex in the Steel City issue. Not knowing very much to begin with, I myself was guilty of making the assumption that Muslim students on campus would be hesitant to open up to me about the topics of the hijab, sexual taboos, and both marital and premarital sex. Quite simply, I was incorrect, but I have never been so glad to be wrong.
The first interview was perhaps the most informative, simply because there were so many questions to be asked. As a Vice President of the Muslim Students Association, Areej Shahbaz was eager to speak about the hijab, which literally means “curtain or cover” in Arabic. Described as a veil or head scarf used to cover a woman’s hair, Islamic scholars have given it the wider meaning of modesty, privacy, and morality. “I personally wear the hijab myself because I believe it is God’s command. Nobody is forcing me. I do believe God is commanding me, but it is my choice whether I follow that command or not,” explained Shahbaz. Shahbaz went on to explain that her mother does not wear it, and there is no point in someone wearing it if it is not for the right reason. Although there is a Western belief that elaborate dress or make-up will make you beautiful, Shahbaz explained to her, she feels most beautiful when wearing the hijab. “It makes me feel secure, safe, modest, and it lets me be myself without being judged from the outside. Every day I wear it, the more I feel that it is beautiful. I am realizing the beauty of actually wearing it.”
The idea that Muslim women who wear the hijab are oppressed is something that continues to be debated in women’s studies, however, once talking to Muslim women at McMaster who wear the hijab, it becomes clear that they do have their own choice when it comes to wearing the veil. As Shahbaz explained it, “Each woman has a different story, and in my story I feel more free when I wear the hijab.” This idea that wearing the hijab is actually liberating certainly pushes the boundaries of the misconceptions many people hold about Islam.
When it came to the topic of sex, it became clear that distinctions must be made about pre-marital and marital sex. Although pre-marital sex falls under the category of adultery in Islam, marital sex is something that is quite encouraged as it can be both pleasurable and spiritual. “What a lot of people don’t realize is that sex on its own is a blessing if you do it within the rules. It’s not taboo, and it’s allowed because you are supposed to be enjoying that with your spouse,” Shahbaz explained. That said, the Muslim women interviewed shared the belief that sex is still a private issue, and because it is something done behind closed doors it is understandable if some are hesitant to talk about it.
Equally as important as speaking to young Muslim women on campus who wear the hijab, is speaking to the ones who choose not to wear it. Active member or McMaster Muslims for Peace and Justice, Anisa Mirza, explained that for her, the hijab is one form of modesty that had its significance in the past, but does not personally believe that this is a law or rule with ritualistic meaning. “That is not to say I do not respect it, as people in my family choose to wear the hijab, but I believe there is more than one way to show modesty,” Mirza stated. Mirza went on to disagree with the idea that it is a measure of one’s faith, going as far as to say that she finds that quite offensive. “Judgment itself is a sin. There are women who believe it is compulsory to wear it, but who are they to judge me? It is a personal choice and only Allah can judge me.” To Mirza and many other Muslim women, the way you dress is not an indicator of your faith. “I have seen friends of people in the MSA with cleavage or mini skirts who are Muslim, and others who wear a full hijab. I have seen both as close friends. I do think it can become complicated.”
Perhaps just as complicated is the topic of guys and girls being able to talk about sex. “There are many communities that are very open about talking about sex, but it is something that needs to be divided up between genders,” Mirza explained. “When talking with girlfriends, of course we are going to talk about the topic of sex, and your ideal guy, what you think is sexy.” When it comes to actually engaging in sexual activity, both Shahbaz and Mirza felt it would be difficult to find a Muslim woman who would admit to having pre-marital sex; however, it would not be fair to not call someone a Muslim because they were having sex. This would be going back to the notion of making judgments, and as Mirza explained, “[Sex] may be their weakness; I may have a different weakness. It is not about someone not being a Muslim, but they should want to try and be a better Muslim.”
A second year engineering student Asima* made a point to make it clear that Muslim girls are just like any others. “We talk about guys and sex—we are just not allowed to engage in sexual activity until after marriage. When we talk about it, we are talking about things that we are looking forward to in the future with our husbands.” Asima went on to say that it is something she personally looks forward to, and it is not always easy to abstain. This is likely felt by many Muslim women, as Asima revealed that she does know of some Muslim women who engage in pre-marital sex. Although she may not agree with it, she explained that, “It is important to see that there is no one voice, but rather an acceptance of many voices that makes up our Muslim community on campus.”
Before coming to such a diverse university, many of us may have had our own idea of who a Muslim woman was. Although there are some rules that everyone has to follow, what is important to take from this is that just like any other social group, there are several different identities within one community. While the fundamentals may be the same, interpretations vary, and not all perceptions of religion can be the same. Not all Muslim women will behave in one specific way, and most certainly, not all Muslim feel the same way about the hijab or sex.
Sarah El-Hamzawi
*Name withheld upon the request of the interviewee
